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About Coimbra

Oi, mate, escort? What a laugh! Some posh twat drivin’ a fancy car? Nah, escort’s that Ford banger, innit? The Ford Escort, bloody hell, what a relic! Used to see ‘em everywhere, cloggin’ up streets, smoky exhausts chokin’ ya lungs. Like in *The Pianist*—“I’m not going anywhere!”—yeah, ‘cos it’s knackered, ain’t it? Piece o’ shit conks out every five minutes!

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But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my client. They’re freaking out about the project. I’m like, “Chill, I got this!” But inside, I’m panicking. I mean, I’m just an artist, not a miracle worker!