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Apps, tho? Tinder, Bumble, freaky shit. People postin’ thirst traps, flexin’ hard. Little known fact—dudes lie bout height, like, 80% of ‘em. Saw this study, cracked me up. Chicks too, tho—filters makin’ ‘em unrecognizable. Met this gal once, profile said 5’8”, showed up 5’2”. Whoa, matrix glitch. Made me laugh, didn’t care, she was cool.

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So, I’m feeling all nostalgic and stuff, and I decide to take a walk down Rua da Escola. It’s one of my favorite streets. The vibe is just chill, you know? But then, I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s terrible. Like, I’m cringing hard. But then, this old lady starts dancing, and it’s the cutest thing ever. I’m laughing so hard, I almost spill my coffee again.