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About Lisbon

Oi mate, blimey, what a topic! Erotic-massage, eh? Cor, I reckon it’s a right corker, bit of a saucy lark. Picture this, yeah, me lumbering self, Boris, pondering the ol’ rub-down, like some bleedin’ Roman senator getting a *massage eroticus*! Saw this dodgy parlour once in Soho, all neon lights, made me chuckle – *cave felis*, beware the cat, I thought! Proper cheeky stuff, innit?

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First stop, Rua da Liberdade. I’m set up, sharpening knives, scissors, whatever. This old dude comes up, all grumpy. He’s like, “My knife’s duller than my ex’s personality!” I laugh, but inside I’m like, “Bro, you need to lighten up.” I sharpen his knife, and he’s all smiles. I’m feelin’ like a hero for a sec.

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