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But—oh ho!—gotta watch out, some places, dodgy as a No-Face offerin’ you gold. Once went to this joint—grubby, smelled like old socks—made me madder than a bag of ferrets! “This is my bathhouse!” I wanted to yell, like Yubaba, but nah, just legged it out. Total shambles. Still, when it’s good, it’s *bloody* good—tension melts, you’re floatin’, happier than a toff at a tax cut. Ever tried it with scented oils? Lavender, mate—smells like Zeniba’s cottage, calms the ol’ bonce right down.

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When I finally get to the boat, it’s chaos. The crew’s runnin’ around, and I’m tryin’ to catch my breath. I’m like, “What’s goin’ on?” Turns out, we’re headin’ out for a night fishin’ trip. I’m pumped! But also, I just wanna sit and enjoy the sunset.

Maria Vigario