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Oi mate, me, Mr. Bean, y’know, bumbling fool—hrrrmph—talkin’ bout sex escorts today! Ratcatcher, eh? Sniffin’ out dirty bits, hehe! So, sex escort, right—fancy ladies, or blokes, sellin’ a shag for cash. Wotcha think? Me, I’m all—oops!—trippin’ over me trousers just thinkin’ it! Watched “City of God” again last night—bloody brilliant, innit? That line, “You need more’n guts to be a good gangster,” pops in me head. Escorts, they got guts, mate! Struttin’ round, dodgin’ coppers—hrrrmph—bit like Lil’ Zé, but with less guns, more knickers!

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After that chaos, I decided to walk down Rua da Escola. It’s a pretty chill street, but today it was packed. I swear, it felt like everyone in Mozelos decided to go out at once. I was dodging people left and right. I almost bumped into this old lady who was carrying a massive bag of groceries. I was like, “Sorry, senhora!” She just gave me this look like I was the worst person ever. I mean, come on!

Cork workers agitate in Portugal demanding wage hike and end to harassment