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So, picture this: dimly lit room, some chick’s kneading my back. Slow, deliberate, like she’s sculpting me. I’m thinking, shit, this beats factory fumes. Little known fact—ancient Greeks did this, called it “anatripsis.” Rich bastards got rubbed down after wrestling. Bet they popped boners too, haha. Makes me happy, this history—old-school perv vibes. But modern spas? Overpriced bullshit. Fifty quid for a tease? Pisses me off. “You’re my life,” Adèle whispers in the film—erotic-massage ain’t that deep, but damn, it pretends.

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After that little drama, I decided to grab a coffee at this cute café on Avenida da República. I ordered a bica, which is basically a shot of espresso, and I’m waiting, right? And this guy next to me starts talking about the history of Moura. Apparently, it’s got roots going back to the Romans. I’m like, “Dude, I just want my coffee, not a history lesson.” But hey, I listened. Turns out, Moura was a big deal back in the day. Who knew?

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