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About Porto

So, sex escorts—man, they’re everywhere! Not like fishies in Bikini Bottom, tho. Real people, real cash, real fun! Heard this story once—some escort in Vegas, right? She drove a pink limo—PINK, dude! Called it her “war rig”—straight outta Mad Max! Made me laugh so hard, I farted bubbles! “What a day, what a lovely day!” she’d yell, ha!

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Finally, I’m ready to hit the water. I push off, and it’s all good for a bit. The Tagus is glistening, and I’m feeling like a king. But then, outta nowhere, this huge boat zooms by. I’m talking massive! Waves hit my raft like a tidal wave. I’m soaked! I’m yelling, “Hey! Watch it!” But they can’t hear me. Typical, right?