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Oh, and the laughs—some johns, man, they’re clueless! One dude paid triple thinkin’ he’s gettin’ a “girlfriend experience”—she took the cash, ghosted, left him a note: “Enjoy the fantasy, loser.” Savage! I cackled for days—dumbass deserved it.

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After that, I decide to take a break. I paddle over to the little café by the river, you know, the one on Avenida de Berna? I grab a bica and a pastel de nata. Life’s little pleasures, right? But as I’m enjoying my treat, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I can’t help but chuckle. “At least I’m not them,” I think.