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About Funchal

So, I’m thinkin’, erotic-massage is wild! Makes ya feel all tingly—like starfish vibes! Once heard this story—some dude in Thailand, yeah? Paid big bucks for a “happy endin’,” but they just massaged his feet! Hella funny, right? Got me laughin’ ‘til I cried! But, real talk, it’s s’posed to chill ya out—loosen them knots. Knots like the mayor guy in “Leviathan” had—grumpy jerk! “The sea doesn’t care,” he’d say. Neither does the masseuse—just rubbin’ away!

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So, I’m slicing away, right? And then, the power goes out. Just like that! I’m standing there with a knife in one hand and a piece of meat in the other, like, “What now?” I’m sweating bullets. I can’t have my meat go bad! I run outside, and it’s chaos. People are yelling, cars are honking on Rua da Estação. I’m thinkin’, “Is this a butcher shop or a circus?”

Pichu Torcida, sailor of the year