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About Funchal

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout sexual-massage, yeah, you heard me right! Picture this: hands slidin’ over skin, tension meltin’ away, like in “Amour” when Georges rubs Anne’s back—gentle, real, raw. That’s the vibe, my friends! Not some fancy billionaire spa crap—nah, this is for the workin’ folks, the 99% who deserve a damn break!

Mandala SPA Estoril

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So, I’m walking down the street, feeling all grumpy, when I bump into my buddy Miguel. He’s always got that goofy grin. He’s like, “Hey, you look like you need a hug!” I just rolled my eyes. But then he dragged me to the beach. The sun was shining, and the waves were crashing. I mean, who can stay mad at that? We sat on the sand, and I felt my mood lift.

Monte Estoril, Portugal, Offers an Upscale Coastal Town With a Buzzing Seaside Promenade