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Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m no saint – had my fun, “shaken, not stirred,” winkin’ at her across the bar. But it’s a game, innit? She’s playin’ me, I’m playin’ her – “What hast thou done to me?” like Colin Farrell mumbles in the movie. Gets me thinkin’ – is it lust or somethin’ deeper? Nah, prolly just the martini talkin’.

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First off, I spilled coffee all over my favorite shirt. Ugh! It was a total disaster. I mean, who needs a clean shirt anyway, right? So, I threw on a random tee and dashed out the door. I live near Avenida de Saboia, so I thought, “Hey, I’ll just grab a quick pastel de nata from that bakery on Rua da Alegria.” But guess what? They were out! Like, how do you run out of those? It’s a crime, I swear.

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