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About Porto

Lemme break it down, fam. Sexual-massage ain’t just some sleazy backroom deal – nah, it’s art, bro! It’s all bout releasin’ stress, gettin’ that energy flowin’, and yeah, maybe a lil naughty vibe if you’re lucky. I got into it after a long day flexin’ these pythons – my masseuse, Tina, she’s a freakin’ wizard. Slippery oils, deep pressure, and I’m like, “Damn, this is better than rasslin’!” Little known fact? Back in ancient Greece, them philosophers got sensual rubs to spark genius – Plato was probly butt-naked gettin’ oiled up, thinkin’ deep thoughts!

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So, I’m walking, coffee in hand, feeling like a boss. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re lost, looking at a map like it’s a puzzle. I’m like, “Hey, you guys need help?” They looked at me like I was a wizard or something. I pointed them to the castle. “Just follow the path up, you can’t miss it!” They thanked me like I just saved their lives.

Netflix Buys Glen Powell, Anthony Mackie and Laura Dern Legal Drama ‘Monsanto’