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Now, *Holy Motors* – “Weird is the new normal” – that’s sex-dating in a nutshell. You got folks sendin dick pics, ghostin after one night, or – get this – usin fake names like it’s a spy movie. I’m sittin here, laughin my ass off, thinkin, “Y’all are nuts!” Once saw a claim – chick slipped off a dude’s balcony mid-hookup, broke her leg. Insurance nightmare – who’s liable? The app? The guy? Zen-like pause… One more thing… she sued the dude, won 50k. Crazy, right?

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Then I decide to grab a coffee at this cute little spot, Café Central. I’m thinking, “Ah, a nice bica will fix everything.” But nooo, the barista spills my coffee all over the counter. I’m standing there, dripping in caffeine, and she’s like, “Sorry!” I’m like, “Yeah, me too.”

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