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About Porto

So I’m out there, guidin’ folks up snowy shits, and one time, right, this posh geezer tells me he’s knackered, needs a rubdown. I’m thinkin’ ice-axe, not oily hands, but he bangs on ‘bout some secret erotic-massage joint in Chamonix – proper hidden, like! Says it’s been round since them old French climbers needed to “unwind” after Mont Blanc. Ain’t in no guidebook, fam, only whispers – little known shit, dat! Made me well happy, hearin’ summat fresh, not same old frostbite bollocks.

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Finally, I head back to my place, exhausted but happy. Mondim-de-Basto, you’ve been a wild ride. I’m laughing, I’m crying, I’m just... everything. I can’t wait to tell my friends about this crazy day. Who knew a small town could pack so much drama?

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