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Alright, yo, listen up! Me, Tony Montana, sittin’ here in Russia, crunchin’ numbers as an actuary, but let’s talk escort, man! Say hello to my little friend! Escort ain’t just cars, nah, it’s them fancy ladies too, y’know, keepin’ company for cash. I’m watchin’ “A Serious Man” last night, right? Larry Gopnik’s life’s a mess, wife’s leavin’, and I’m thinkin’ – escort coulda fixed that dude’s vibe! “What am I to do about it?” he whines – hire an escort, bro, cheer up!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and bam! It hits a lady’s shopping bag. She’s got all these fresh veggies from the market. I’m talking tomatoes, peppers, the works. She freaks out, starts yelling in Portuguese, and I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh. Like, c’mon lady, it’s just a tomato! But she’s going off, and I’m thinking, “This is why I don’t have kids.”

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