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So, check this—erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s an investment! You drop some cash, get them hands slidin’ all sensual-like, and bam—stress gone, motherfucker! I’m talkin’ profit in peace of mind. Little-known fact: back in ancient Rome, them rich-ass senators got erotic rubs to seal deals. True shit! Imagine that—toga up, oil down, signin’ treaties with a hard-on. History’s wild, yo.

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And then, the best part happens. This old lady, Senhora Maria, comes up to me. She’s got this huge basket of bread. She’s like, “You look like you need a snack.” I’m thinking, “Yes, please!” So, I take a piece, and it’s the best bread I’ve ever had. I’m talking crusty on the outside, soft on the inside. I’m munching away, and it’s like a little slice of heaven.

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