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So, check this—escorts been around forever, right? Back in the day, like 1700s, they called ‘em “courtesans”—fancy, huh? These chicks were educated, witty, could charm the pants off a king—literally! I’m diggin’ through files, smokin’ a cigar, and bam—find out some escorts today charge like 5 grand a night! Makes me wanna yell, “Behave!”—but nah, I’m cool, baby, I respect the hustle.

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After that chaos, we finally get to the good stuff. I’m auctioning off this beautiful piece from the 18th century. It’s got all these intricate designs, and I’m thinking, “This is it! This is the moment!” But then, some guy in the front row sneezes. Like, a full-on, loud sneeze. And I’m just standing there, trying not to lose my cool. I mean, come on, man! Timing!

Casa das Artes in Miranda do Corvo, Portugal