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About Coimbra

I tried it once—sex-dating, not the newspaper gig. Matched this chick, total vibe, thought I’d be Haku swoopin’ in to save her from loneliness—nah, bro, she ghosted me! Pissed me off, like, “Howl ya gonna ditch me?!” Felt like No-Face chasin’ love, tossin’ gold, gettin’ nada. But then—THEN—I hit gold with this other date. She’s all flirty, smellin’ like jasmine—pheromones, baby, science don’t lie! We’re chattin’, laughin’, I’m thinkin’, “This is it, my river spirit moment—pure magic!” And it was—hot, messy, real. Left me grinnin’ like a damn fool.

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First off, I had to set up for this big auction at the Praça da República. You know, the heart of the city? It’s always buzzing with life. I’m hauling boxes of antiques, and I’m sweating like a pig. I mean, who knew old furniture could weigh so much? I’m cursing under my breath, thinking about how I should’ve hit the gym more often.

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