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So, sex-datin’, right, it’s apps, it’s chaos, it’s bloody brilliant sometimes. You got Tinder, Bumble, weirdos on FetLife - all these critters out there, struttin’ their stuff. I’ve seen it, yeah, the lads peacocking with shirtless pics, the gals droppin’ flirty lines. Makes me happy, seein’ folks chase what they want, bold as brass. But then - ugh - the ghostin’, the dick pics, the “u up?” at 3 a.m. Pisses me off, that does! Where’s the class, eh?

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So, the auction kicks off. I’m up there, doing my thing, and the crowd’s hyped. I’m talking fast, trying to keep the energy up. “Who’s gonna give me 50? 50? 50?!” And then, bam! This dude in the back, João, starts yelling. He’s like, “I’ll give you 100 for that ugly chair!” I’m like, “Dude, it’s a classic!” But hey, money talks, right?

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