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Oh, quirk time—my fave bit? That awkward start. You’re lyin there, butt-naked, thinkin, “Is this weird?” Then—magic hands! Surprised me first time, legit jumped—Edna don’t jump, dahling! And the oils? Some smell like hippie shops—patchouli overload, blegh! But when it’s warm, silky? Omg, I’m floatin, “times are hard” no more!
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First call comes in at 8 AM. It’s this dude from Rua da Liberdade. He’s all frantic, like, “My cat’s stuck in a tree!” I’m like, “Bro, call the fire department, not me!” But nooo, he insists I help. I mean, c’mon, I’m not a cat whisperer! But I can’t just hang up, so I’m like, “Okay, dude, just throw some tuna up there.”
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