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Now, I’ve seen some dodgy parlours, right? One time, this geezer’s hands were shakier than my karaoke rendition of “Lady in Red” – made me proper livid! “Focus, you muppet!” I wanted to yell, but nah, I’m a gent, kept it cool. Thing is, when it’s done right, it’s like, “How do I make this stop?” – meanin’ I *don’t* want it to, obvs! The pros know their pressure points, hittin’ spots you didn’t even know were screamin’ for attention. Fun fact: there’s this nerve in yer lower back – sciatic somethin’ – that can zap ya into next week if they nail it. Had me gaspin’ once, thought I’d levitated!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s work. Ugh, I forgot about that meeting! I sprint back to my place, dodging people on Rua da Escola. I’m sweating, heart racing. I get home, and my laptop’s dead. Of course! I plug it in, and it takes forever to boot up. I’m cursing under my breath.

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