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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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As the day winds down, I stroll through the Jardim Municipal. It’s beautiful, man. The flowers, the trees, the vibe. I sit on a bench, just reflecting on the day. I’m happy, but also exhausted. I think about how unpredictable life is. One minute you’re teaching, the next you’re dodging flaming torches.

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