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Alright, y’all, listen up! Sex-dating’s a wild ride, lemme tell ya. I reckon it’s like fishin’ in a barrel—sometimes ya hook a big one, sometimes ya just get wet! Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you, fool me twice—can’t get fooled again, right? Hah! I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout “A Separation”—that flick’s my jam, y’know? Them folks in it, Simin and Nader, they’re fightin’ over what’s right, kinda like when yer swipin’ left or right on them apps, decidin’ who’s worth a damn.

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First off, I’m the Cargo Transportation Manager, which sounds fancy, but really, it’s just me juggling trucks and drivers like a circus act. I grab my coffee from that little café on Rua da Liberdade. You know the one? The barista, Miguel, always gives me a hard time about my order. “Another double shot, João?” Yeah, Miguel, I need it to survive this madness!