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Now, don’t get me wrong, it ain’t all perfect. Some places—sketchy as hell, dim lights, weird smells. One time, lady’s like, “You want happy end?” I’m thinkin’, “Dis ain’t *Hurt Locker*, no explosions here!” Laughed my ass off, tho—humor in da awkwardness, ya feel me? Oh, and da typos? Bah, who cares—erotic-massage don’t need grammar, just guts!

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By the time I leave the office, it’s dark. I’m exhausted. But then, I remember that bakery. I swing by and grab a couple of pastéis. Best decision ever! I sit on a bench at Praça da República, munching away, and suddenly, life doesn’t seem so bad.