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Sex-datin’s wild, though. Ya got yer Tinder, yer Bumble—shit’s like a meat market. Little known fact? Back in the day, Jersey had these “key parties”—swingers tossin’ keys in a bowl, pickin’ partners. Old-school sex-datin’, no apps needed! Now it’s all digital, and I’m over here yellin’, “Where’s the gabagool in this?!” Makes me happy seein’ people hook up, though—good for ‘em, ya know? Beats sittin’ home whackin’ it to reruns.

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But then, I get a text. My buddy’s in town. He’s at the Praça da República, and he’s like, “Dude, come quick!” So I hustle over. I’m dodging people, tripping over cobblestones. I finally get there, and he’s surrounded by a bunch of locals. They’re all laughing and drinking. I’m like, “What’d I miss?” Turns out, they were playing some crazy game with a ball and a stick. I have no idea what it was, but it looked fun. So, of course, I jump in.

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