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Alright, you bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! Sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s freakin’ sweet! Like, imagine some hot chick rubbin’ ya down, all sensual-like—gets me goin’ just thinkin’ about it! I saw this movie, *The Tree of Life*, freakin’ masterpiece, and it’s all about life’s big crap—birth, death, and horny vibes in between. “The only way to be happy is to love,” they say in it—damn right, ‘specially with a sexual-massage!

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After that, I need a breather. So, I step outside to the Praça da República. It’s a beautiful spot, man. The fountain’s flowin’, and the trees are swayin’. I take a deep breath, tryin’ to calm down. But then, I see my buddy João. He’s sittin’ there, drinkin’ a beer at 10 AM. Classic João. I join him for a quick chat. He’s talkin’ about the football match last night. “Did you see that goal?” he says. I’m like, “Dude, I was busy with meat!”

Tessenow Medal 1998