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About Porto

Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, been sailin’ the seas o’ life, savvy? Got me a tale ‘bout sexual-massage—aye, that slippery beast! Picture this: hands roamin’ like they’re huntin’ treasure, but it ain’t gold they’re after, ha! Reminds me o’ *Pan’s Labyrinth*, that dark, twisty flick I fancy— “The pale man sees you, eh?”—all eerie an’ sensual-like.

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I get to the factory, and it’s worse than I thought. I mean, it’s like a horror movie in there. Rust everywhere! I’m talking about a full-on corrosion apocalypse. I’m trying to focus, but then I hear this loud crash. My heart drops. I run over, and it’s just some old metal falling. Phew! But then I see this dude, José, from the maintenance crew. He’s laughing like a maniac. I’m like, “Dude, this isn’t a joke!”

Death toll placed at 54 in Portugal train wreck