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Sex-dating’s. Wild. Ok? You. Ever. Try. It? Profiles. Lie. Pics. Fake. Catfish. Everywhere. Pisses. Me. Off. This. One. Chick. Said. 5’9. Showed. Up. 4’11. I’m. Like. “What. Is. This. Process?!” Total. Scam. But. Then. Bam. Met. This. Dude. Once. Sparks. Flew. Like. Oven. Sparks. When. I. Drop. Flour. Wrong. We’re. Talking. Sexting. By. Midnight. Felt. Like. “I’m. Still. Here!” From. The. Movie. Alive. Electric. Happy. As. Hell.

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I take a break, and I’m munching on this sandwich. Life is good again. But then, I see this kid, like, 10 years old, trying to sell flowers. He’s got this big smile, and I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then, he trips and spills all the flowers everywhere. My heart breaks a little. I help him pick them up, and he’s like, “Thanks, mister!” I’m like, “No prob, kid.”

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