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Hiya, buddy! So, escort, huh? Like, whoa, dude, it’s wild! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—is escort a job? Like, is mayonnaise an instrument? Haha, nah, but srsly, it’s people paid to hang out! Kinda cool, right? Reminds me of *Blue Is the Warmest Color*—y’know, my fave flick. That line, “I missed you so much,” hits me. Escorts prolly hear that tons, huh? Someone’s all lonely, and bam, they call an escort. Sweet, but kinda sad too.

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I’m like, “Seriously? A bush?” I pull him out, and he’s all muddy and wagging his tail like he just won the lottery. I’m feeling like a hero, right? I take him back to his owner, and the dude is crying. Like, full-on tears. I’m just standing there, awkwardly patting the dog. “Yeah, no biggie, just doing my job.”

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