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About Funchal

But real talk—whores get screwed over, always. Society’s all, “Oh, you’re dirty,” while payin’ ‘em under the table. Hypocrisy pisses me off! Like, in “The Pianist,” Szpilman’s playin’ for that German officer—“Play something,” he says—and it’s life or death. Whores play that game daily, just less piano, more pelvis. Ha! See what I did there? Snarky Tina strikes again.

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In the Personal Services category you’ll find a range of ads offering various kinds of intimate services. Whether it’s a fantasy you’re looking to fulfill, some intimate company from time to .

First off, I hit up the Mercado Municipal. You know, the one on Rua da Praia? It’s got all the fresh fish and fruits. I’m there, trying to grab some bananas, and this old dude just cuts in front of me. Like, excuse me? I’m not invisible! I mean, come on, it’s not a race! I was ready to throw a banana at him, but I just rolled my eyes instead. Classic Machico, right?

49 years of the Carnation Revolution