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But chile, what got me hot? This one john—ugly as sin—tried hagglin’ her down to $10! Ten bucks! I yelled, “Boy, you cheaper than a flea market wig!” She deserved better, like Jen Yu stealin’ that sword—take what’s yours, baby! Made me wanna slap him into next week, but I held my peace. Halleluyer!

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First off, I hit up the Mercado Municipal. You know, the one on Rua da Praia? It’s got all the fresh fish and fruits. I’m there, trying to grab some bananas, and this old dude just cuts in front of me. Like, excuse me? I’m not invisible! I mean, come on, it’s not a race! I was ready to throw a banana at him, but I just rolled my eyes instead. Classic Machico, right?

Fig. 2 -Yellow-crowned Wagtail, Motacilla flava flavissima at Machico,...