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So, Escort, yeah? Proper beast, init. That Mk1, bruv, 1968, came out swingin’ – small, nippy, made them posh racers look like mugs. I’m watchin’ *Timbuktu*, and there’s this line, “The moon is pale,” right? Reminds me of Escort’s headlights, cuttin’ through the night, pale but fierce, ya feel? Used to see ‘em rally in Wales, mud flyin’, engines screamin’ – made me happy as a pig in shit, fam. But then, yeah, got angry, cos them rich twats in Ferraris dissed it, like, “Is it ’cos I is black?” Nah, mate, it’s cos Escort’s a workin’ man’s champ, not yer fancy bollocks.

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Then, the show started. I was on fire! The crowd was loving it, and I was feeling myself. But then, outta nowhere, this guy in the front row started heckling me. Like, seriously? Who does that? I was so mad! I wanted to throw my fan at him. But instead, I just gave him a killer side-eye.

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