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About Funchal

So, sexual-massage - it’s not just rubbing backs, nah. It’s this ancient gig, been around since forever. Think Taoist monks, 2000 years back, mixing sensual vibes with healing - wild, right? They called it “energy work,” not some dodgy parlor trick. Blows my mind how it’s both chill and steamy. Gets me happy, like when I smoked Saruman’s pipe-weed stash once - pure bliss! But, ugh, what pisses me off? Creeps who think it’s a free pass to get nasty. You shall not pass, filth-lords!

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Then, I get a text from my buddy, Miguel. He’s like, “Dude, let’s hit up that new burger joint on Rua 25 de Abril.” I’m down! Burgers? Yes, please! So I rush over, and the place is packed. I mean, who knew Lourosa had such a burger craze? I order the “Lourosa Special” – it’s got everything: bacon, cheese, and some spicy sauce. I take a bite, and OMG, it’s like a flavor explosion! I’m in heaven.

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