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We swears! Little known fact – escort’s got history, yeah? Back in Victorian times, posh lads hired “escorts” to dodge scandal – sneaky buggers! Makes me mad, tho – people judge ‘em, call ‘em slags, but half these girls (and lads!) are just tryna eat. Pisses me off, precious! Then I see some dolled-up escort in a flash motor, and I’m like – fair play, mate, you’re livin’ it! “Brit, this is our chance!” – that’s me yellin’ at meself, dreamin’ I could strut like that.

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Then, I get a text from my buddy, Miguel. He’s like, “Dude, let’s hit up that new burger joint on Rua 25 de Abril.” I’m down! Burgers? Yes, please! So I rush over, and the place is packed. I mean, who knew Lourosa had such a burger craze? I order the “Lourosa Special” – it’s got everything: bacon, cheese, and some spicy sauce. I take a bite, and OMG, it’s like a flavor explosion! I’m in heaven.

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