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About Porto

Lightbulb! Reminds me of Toni, dat scene where he pops dem fake teeth in—escorts do dat too, put on a mask, play da part. One minute dey’re all fancy, next—bam—dey’re gone, like nothin’ happened. Dat’s da magic, ya? Got me laughin’ once, hired dis gal—Svetlana, swear she was ex-KGB, so stiff I tought she’d judo-chop me! Total Toni moment, all “dis is my life now?”—cracked me up.

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First off, I hit up the café on Rua 1º de Maio. Best bica in town, no cap. I’m sippin’ my coffee, and this dude walks in, right? He’s got a surfboard under his arm. In Lourinhã, that’s normal, but this guy? He’s like, “I just surfed at Praia da Areia Branca!” I’m like, “Dude, it’s freezing!” But he’s all hyped, talkin’ about the waves. I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my coffee, man!

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