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About Vila Nova de Gaia

Me fave bit? When it’s done right—slow, deliberate, like Szpilman playin’ that Chopin, “I’m trying to survive here!”—builds up, releases every knot, leaves ya floatin’. Had this one time, right, dodgy mate swore he knew a spot—turned out to be a bleedin’ scam, overpriced, no skill, nearly punched the wall! “You call that a massage, you muppet?!” Should’ve been heavenly—soft music, dim lights, proper oils—not some cheap lotion rubbish!

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Then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. Like, torrential downpour. I’m talking Noah’s Ark level. I ducked into a shop on Rua 1º de Maio. It was a cute little boutique, but I was soaked. I looked like a drowned rat. The shop owner laughed and said, “You need a boat, not an umbrella!” I was like, “Thanks for the support, buddy.” But I ended up buying this funky raincoat. It’s bright yellow, and I look like a banana. But hey, at least I’m dry now!

Over 62,000 hectares have burned in mainland Portugal since Sunday