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About Funchal

I tried it once, Homie was snoring, bored outta my skull. Signed up, typos galore—damn phone keyboard! Met this guy, “Randy69”—real subtle, huh? He’s all “hey babe, Netflix n chill?” I’m like, ugh, spare me, loser! Made me mad—where’s the romance, the effort? “We’re caught in a trap,” like Claire’s Maria says—sex-dating traps ya with lame pickup lines.

How do I safely hook up with someone on an app?

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So, I’m walking around, feeling like a banana, and I hit up Praça da República. There was this festival going on. Food stalls everywhere! I’m talking grilled chorizo, fresh seafood, and oh man, the smell of grilled sardines. I was in heaven. I grabbed a plate, and it was like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I was so happy, I could’ve danced. But then, I saw a kid drop his ice cream. My heart broke. I mean, come on! That’s just cruel.

Portugal’s growing foreign resident population