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Here’s a laugh – some numpty on X reckoned it’s just “fancy cuddlin’.” Mate, it’s not a hug from yer nan! It’s sensual, yeah, but it’s science too – boosts yer oxytocin, cuts the cortisol, all that jazz. Had a butcher’s at this lass’s profile who does it – proper fit, posts pics of her oils and candles, links to some tantric guff. Nearly booked her meself, but I’m skint from buyin’ Amélie on Blu-ray. “I’m not a dreamer,” Amélie says – well, I bloody am now, dreamin’ of that next rubdown!

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So, I’m walking along Rua da Estação, and I bump into this street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches! I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna set yourself on fire!” But he’s all smiles, and the crowd is loving it. I can’t help but laugh. It’s wild how people can just let loose like that.

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