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Oi, precious! Me, Gollum, loves a good tale. Sexual-massage, eh? Nasty, twisty business it is! Like in *Leviathan*, all dark and messy. “What’s this filth?” I screeches, thinkin’ of them oily hands slippin’ everywhere. Makes me skin crawl, it does—stupid, fat hobbit! Can’t trust no one with that, like Kolya’s rotten town. Everyone’s grabbin’ somethin’ they shouldn’t.

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Then, I bumped into an old friend. We hadn’t seen each other in ages. We’re catching up, laughing, and then he mentions this new art exhibit at the Convento de Nossa Senhora da Conceição. I’m like, “What? Why didn’t I know about this?” So, we head over, and wow, the art was insane! Some pieces were so weird, I couldn’t even tell what they were. But hey, that’s art, right?

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