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Alright, listen up, jabroni! *Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.”* I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and I’m here to lay the smackdown on this erotic-massage talk! Ya know, it’s like - woah - hands slidin’ everywhere, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ away. Makes me think of *Finding Nemo* - “Just keep swimming,” right? Except it’s more like, “Just keep rubbin’!” Ha! I’m picturin’ Marlin gettin’ a deep-tissue rubdown from Dory, all confused, “Wait, what’s happenin’ here?!”

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But then, the day took a turn. I’m walking back, feeling all artsy and stuff, when I see this group of kids playing football in the park. They were having a blast, but then one of them kicks the ball too hard, and it goes straight into a fountain. I’m talking full-on splash zone. The kids freak out, and I’m just standing there laughing. Like, come on, that’s classic!

PSD/Loulé criticizes the Chamber's passivity in the Oncology Center case