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So yeah, next time you’re feelin’ tight—pun intended—hit up a spot. Tell ‘em Tony sent ya. Say, “I want your best girl, motherfucker!” Watch ‘em scramble. Shit’s a masterpiece—like *Inglourious Basterds*, but with a happy endin’. You’ll be screamin’, “This is my weapon, this is my gun!”—fuckin’ classic, right? Go get some, compadre—don’t be a dumbass!

Call to book

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady starts yelling. I look over, and she’s freaking out because her inflatable flamingo is drifting away. I mean, c’mon! It’s a flamingo, not a yacht! But she’s acting like it’s the Titanic. I had to jump in and save that thing. I’m like, “Lady, it’s just a floatie!” But she’s all grateful and stuff. Whatever, I’m just doing my job.

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