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Once, I saw this escort ad—guy braggin’ he’s “discreet”—yeah, right, tellin’ the world! Cracked me up. Surprised me how bold they get. Like, live your truth, boo! I’d hire ‘em just for the chutzpah. “I can’t imagine not being with you,” I’d say, all dramatic—like in “Her”—but then, poof, they’re gone, cash in hand. HA-HA! Total rollercoaster, dollface—angry, happy, all of it. Whaddya think—escorts, fab or flop? Tell me, I’m dyin’ here!

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As the day winds down, I’m feeling a mix of exhaustion and satisfaction. I mean, I saved a flamingo, rescued a dude, and played detective. Not bad for a day’s work, right? But then, just when I think it’s over, a seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich. I’m like, “Really? Even the birds are against me today?”

Figure 2 A potential processing scheme of Gac fruit