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I got into it once, right? Some chick, total pro, kneading my back—D’oh!—like dough! Felt like a freakin’ donut gettin’ glazed, ha! Little known fact: ancient Greeks did this crap. Called it “bodywork” or somethin’, freaky philosophers rubbin’ each other down. Bet Plato was all, “Oh yeah, deeper!” Makes ya wonder, huh?

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So, I’m back on my tower, trying to catch some rays, when I see this group of teenagers on Rua de São Pedro. They’re blasting music, and I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m a lifeguard AND a DJ.” But then, one of them decides to do a cannonball off the rocks. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna break your neck!” But he lands it like a pro. I’m half impressed, half terrified.

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