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Little fact tho—Ancient Rome had this shit on lock. They called it “frictio,” fancy as hell. Rich folks gettin’ oiled up, livin’ large. Me? I’m just tryna not slip off the table. Favorite part? When they hit that neck spot—ooh, chills, fam! Surprised me first time, like, “Damn, that’s allowed?” Almost too good—exaggeratin’ for drama, I’m yellin’, “I’m cured, doc!” Deadpan, tho—nobody laughs.

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So, I’m pacing around, trying to figure out what to do. I decide to grab a coffee at that little café on Rua da Escola. You know the one? The one with the best pastéis de nata? Yeah, that one. I get there, and it’s packed! I mean, who knew everyone in Linda-a-Velha needed caffeine at 9 AM? I’m waiting in line, and this guy in front of me spills his coffee all over the counter. Classic. I’m like, “Dude, you had one job!”

Oeiras moves forward with the municipality's largest affordable rent project