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About Lisbon

Apps these days, bloody hell, swipe right, swipe left—like picking a soggy sarnie at Pret! Did ya know, right, little factoid—first sex-dating site popped up in ‘95, called Match.com, proper prehistoric stuff! Cavemen with dial-up, sexting “u up?” in Latin—*coitus es tu?* Makes me chuckle, that. But it’s bloody genius—lonely sods finding a quick bunk-up, no faffing about with flowers and poetry.

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So, I’m walking down Avenida Marquês de Pombal, and I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s not half bad. I stop to listen, and suddenly, this little kid runs up and starts dancing. It was adorable! Made me smile, you know? But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and poops right on the kid’s head! I couldn’t help but laugh. Poor kid, though. His mom was not amused.

Leiria invests in water quality