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Still, when it’s good, it’s magic—surprised me how it’s less sex, more connection. Like “Amour,” it’s the little things—fingers tracin’ a knot, breath hitchin’. Fun fact: Tantra folks reckon it’s been round since 500 AD—Indians knew how to chill! We shall never surrender to stress, my friend—sexual-massage is our V-Day! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d fight a bleedin’ army for that bliss. Oi, fancy one? “How do I cope?”—like that, mate! Now, pass the vodka—cheers to rubdowns and epic films!

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So, I’m chugging my drink, trying to wake up, and I head over to the office on Avenida da República. Traffic was a nightmare. I mean, who decided to dig up the whole street? I was stuck behind some dude in a tiny car, blasting some weird techno music. I was like, “Bro, it’s 8 AM, not a rave!”

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