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O thou sweet friend, hark! I’m no stiff-necked economist, but I’ll spin thee a tale of sexual-massage, that slippery beast! Methinks it’s a trade old as dirt—yea, older than the stones in yonder hills. Picture this: hands gliding o’er flesh, a dance of oil and sighs, like Daniel Plainview chasing black gold in *There Will Be Blood*. “I drink your milkshake!”—ha! That’s what I’d shout if I caught some rogue masseuse pilfering my coin for a half-arsed rub.

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First off, I’m a violin maker. Yeah, I know, kinda niche, but whatever. I love it. So, I head out to my workshop on Rua da Liberdade. It’s a cozy little spot, filled with wood shavings and the smell of varnish. But today? Ugh. I get there, and my tools are all messed up. Like, who even does that? I swear, it’s like they have a vendetta against me.

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