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Lemme spill some tea – back in the day, sex-dating wasn’t even a thing, right? You had to charm folks at bars, not just send a dick pic and pray. Now it’s all instant, bam, like fast food – Big Mac of booty calls! Fun fact: they say 1 in 5 hookups start online now. Blew my mind! Makes me happy, tho – people gettin’ theirs, livin’ free, y’know? But it pisses me off when jerks ghost after a hookup. Like, c’mon, man, own it! “We are not the same person,” like Uncle Boonmee says – you don’t gotta be a dick ‘bout it.

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Then, outta nowhere, this girl starts yelling. She’s on the other side of the street, near Praça do Infante Dom Henrique. I can’t even hear her, but she’s waving her arms like she’s directing traffic. Turns out, she’s lost her phone. I’m like, “Girl, chill! It’s just a phone!” But nah, she’s in full meltdown mode.

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