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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, “I drink and I know things.” So, let’s chat escort, yeah? Not the dodgy kind—nah, I mean Ford Escort, the car! Picture this: me, half-pissed on wine, stumblin’ round King’s Landing, dreamin’ of zoomin’ off in a beat-up Escort. Reminds me of WALL-E, that lil’ trash bot— “Put on your Sunday clothes!”—‘cept this ride’s no shiny spaceship, it’s a rusty beaut from the ‘70s.

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I’m sippin’ my coffee, feeling all artsy and stuff, when I get a call. It’s my buddy Miguel. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the market at Praça do Mar!” I’m like, “Why? What’s up?” He just says, “Trust me!” So, I throw on my favorite shirt (the one with the paint stains, of course) and head out.

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