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Oh, and get this—some folks say it’s “healin’,” boosts yer mojo, blood flow, all that jazz. I read this study, prolly misspelled half the words searchin’—who cares! Point is, it’s legit. But here’s what ticks me off: creeps who think it’s just a quickie setup. No, no, NO! It’s an art, ya schmuck—respect the craft! Makes me wanna scream, “You dishonor me!” like in the film, heh.

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We finally make it to the waterfront, and I’m like, “Look at that view!” The Douro River is sparkling, and I’m feeling all philosophical. “Life’s like driving, you gotta steer through the bumps.” She laughs, and I’m like, “See? You’re getting it!”

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